The Point of Me

 

Hello,

Thank you for reading my first post. 

I gave up blogging several years ago when going through some life changing experiences, and had no intention of returning. That was until I read an  article by a woman in her sixties questioning her purpose in life, and how a series of losses had left her shattered. 

After four decades of making eye watering amounts of money, only to lose most of it in a risky business venture post retirement, the loss of her husband, and estrangement of her only son,  she spiralled down into a severe depression. 

Believing there was no point to her life anymore, she slowly relinquished hope of finding a reason to carry on.

Her story resonated with me, because I'd been there. I was forced into an impoverished early retirement at 58, alone, in house that I could no longer manage. My family had left home to start their own adult lives leaving me to cut a new path through the confusion of  compound loss. 

Well meaning people advised me to embrace my freedom, sell up, go travelling, sign up to a dating site, but all I wanted to do was sit behind closed curtains and cry. No-one had prepared me for the deafening silence of the empty nest. Numb from the pain, all I could feel was the thud of my heart as panic rose and crashed in my chest at the thought of endless, empty days stretching into the distance. 

The sun had fallen out of the sky. Days had turned to night, and it was forever a cold, bitter winter. 

I'll be sharing my experiences of how I clawed my way out to find new meaning and a renewed sense of purpose. 

With Love,

Lana